My stomach is turning into not’s. Tonight I thought I would be honest with someone. This secret has been burning a hole in my heart. So I told them, told them the truth even though they took it not believing it. It’s a love hate relationship. Not much of a relationship to tell you the truth. It’s funny how things fall down so quickly. One minute you think your in heaven the next, your crutch is telling you they want out. That’s what I did. I wanted out so badly. I thought about that a lot in July.



There are things that you want when you’re young. Sometimes you find people who bring you back to that. Or make you have those old ambitions again. Now I wish I had just kept my mouth shut about it, it would probably have been better if I didn’t say it tonight. I should have done that, but what was said was said. And now it’s done can’t dwell on the past anymore. But then again at the same time, I often feel sorry for them.. Or feel sorry about them. I would try to patch them up so that they wouldn’t be so down anymore. But that would mean coming into contact more. And we both don’t want that. My apology was genuine though. Nothing more nothing less. But enough about that. That memory is gone now, time to throw it in the box and lock it up tight. To never be spoken of again, that is where is should have been to begin with. Or maybe we’ll let this whole thing blow over go on for years and years four tops maybe, longer and then I’ll come back to see how things are. Maybe I doubt it, but wouldn’t want them to hold their breath.