I have to say that I am really blessed to have all the support I have from everyone around me, I hold onto each person like they are gold. This whole thing has taught me not to take things for granted, because you never know what the things or the people you love most will be taken away from you. I thank the world for Holly who sent some money to me. It was enough to buy everything that would be in a crib set but the quilt they were out of stock. His room is starting to come together and it really is adorable. I think mom would have loved it, I honestly do. I know mom would be so proud about all the things I have done.

But I know how she felt though, she had so much to do, so much on her, and with very little help. Everything is on me now, my mom has passed away now suddenly I have to take on everything she did for the family. I just physically cannot do it. Things with Denise aren't getting any better either, I called her in desperation, she didn't pick up the phone so I left a message. Telling her that she needed to sign those papers, I can't afford to go to probate court and neither could she. So it would make sense if she would just sign those papers. My uncle even tried to call her and tell her he would gladly give her the hutch and the kitchen set mom was supposed to get when my Grandmother dies, but only if she signed that paper. Moms hospital bill came in yesterday and it's $2,183.00 and I don't have that kind of money. The only way I could pay for her medical bills is by selling her car, but I can't sell her car or anything else because of Denise. My lawyer even told her she would look like a fool if she did this.

I half way wonder if I could get around her and probate court, because Denise is only my half sister, and she has a totally different name than me. And there are no records of her as a Polinsky, I am the only living beneficiary of the Polinsky family and everything my mom owned and had is in Polinsky. I don't know .. there is just so much to deal with right now.

Graham is due next month, I'm freaking out because I don't have the house ready for him. I'm in major nesting mode as well and this isn't helping matters.